COVID-19 Chronicles: Celebrating New Year after a death in the family

 01 January 2021

Last year, last month, Patrick died from a stroke, to put it simply. Naturally, our hearts are heavy with sorrow, particularly since this is the season when everyone should be celebrating and being happy. 

However, life must go on. We must soldier on. So while we have him constantly in our minds and in our hearts, we continue to celebrate the holidays and just wish that he were still with us. 

Happy New Year, everyone!

It's tough to celebrate when you're basically still in mourning. You feel guilty for wanting to keep up with the spirit of the season. You feel sad that a member of your family has gone ahead and left you on this earth. 

But, for everyone's sake, we tried our best to get through the holidays. Having Den, JR and Tracy with us made it easier. It also didn't help that with this pandemic, full family gatherings aren't possible to limit the spread of the virus. My dad and Lynne couldn't celebrate with us. 

This was the only time that we saw Den, JV and Tracy since the pandemic started and apart from the burial rites for Patrick so we were happy that they were able to come. This was the only time we were also able to share our gifts. 

 

Our New Year celebration wasn't fancy. We just pre-ordered samgyupsal meats from our local deli supplier haha At this point, there weren't many restaurants open for business because of COVID so we considered ourselves lucky that we were even able to feast on samgyup. :)

 

So, as you can see from the pictures, we had an enjoyable evening. Our tummies were full and our hearts were somehow filled with love, even if there is now a void that no other person can fill. After, we all just went to bed. 

The next day, these kids kept me company for breakfast. Naturally, they requested pancakes! They helped me make them so that's a bonus!

The new year also brought a new milestone for us with regards to the kittens. They have started sleeping with us in our beds. I guess that means they trusted us now. Or, they just really sensed that we needed their added comfort. They also probably missed Patrick seeing as how they snuggled in his pillow. 

Don't they look cute?

Looking at 2021, it really does feel like everything is going to be new. Patrick is no longer with me, with us. It's going to take some getting used to. The pandemic is still here and it looks like there are a number of cases that are spiking. We've been under a general lockdown for a year now and there's no sign of it being lifted anytime soon. It's tough not being to go out at all but at least we're used to being home. 

I dread going out now because of COVID but because I bet that's when it'll hit me that Patrick is really gone. We used to go everywhere together and now I'm going to be alone. It's going to be tough but I have to keep moving forward. I've no choice...